THIS IS NOT A DRILL. BRUCE IS TWO… AND SOMEHOW HE GOT THE KEYS.
That’s right — Bruce now has a (very fake) driver’s license, zero understanding of traffic laws, and a mad urge to zoom. The cats are his copilots, one is sitting on the steering wheel and the other is refusing to wear their party hat out of protest.
Traffic? Oh, it’s backed up all the way to the snack table.
Seatbelts? Technically encouraged. Realistically? Optional.
The car? Probably not insured. Don’t ask.
The brakes? Unknown. Possibly decorative.
The birthday party? It’s already spinning out of control.
The balloons are lifting someone. Oh wait — that’s Bruce.
Snacks are flying. No one knows from where.
There’s a cake emergency. It’s missing. No witnesses. Top suspect: a sugar-fueled toddler with a questionable alibi.
Faint paw prints lead under the table… and a cat that won’t break eye contact.
One very tired parent may know more than they admit.
Rumor has it… the cake was never even here. Case remains open
The situation is rapidly escalating — someone put a toll on the road to the toilet, plus 1$ for flush. No one knows who’s collecting, but everyone’s paying.
Meltdowns are imminent. Tantrums are scheduled at regular intervals. Tensions are high.
We are all deeply committed to pretending everything is under control and totally going according to plan.
Come celebrate our tiny speedster who now runs the show!!!
July 1 3:30-6 pm
P.S. We highly recommend bringing a helmet and being ready for self-defense.
P.P.S. Your attendance might just save us all.
#FlushTax #WILLIGetTheCake #DriverRefusesToNap #CatsKnow2Much #WeTriedOurBest